I know it’s a cliché, but when it comes to balancing a life that includes horses and kids, the saying “Where there’s a will, there’s a way,” holds true. Nothing about having three small children is easy, and while it is so tempting to fall into a heap on the couch during naptime, I know if I let go of my horse life, I will lose part of the woman God designed me to be. So, like many other moms before me, I persevere.

My 4-year-old-son and twin 1-year-old daughters are my sidekicks at chore time, farrier and veterinary appointments, junior rodeos, barrel races and team ropings. Toting them around is definitely exhausting, but when I do get to send my horse down the alleyway and feel the rush of running him through the barrel pattern, I am reminded that I was created to be more than just a dirty-diaper changer, laundry shuffler and snack retriever. I am a horsewoman, competitor and a wife and mother.

If you are riding the teeter totter of life with horses and kids, too, here are some tips, tricks and confessions from fellow horse moms that I hope will make your days a little easier, or at least let you know you aren’t alone. I’ll go first …

Lindsay Keller

Tip: Give yourself extra time and grace when traveling anywhere with kids and horses. I start planning for a simple trip to the vet at least one or two days in advance so there is no need to rush and I have plenty of time to remember everything I need to make the trip go smoothly. Kids and horses (at least mine anyway) can sense when you are hurrying and, without fail, will toss some roadblocks at you just to watch you squirm. Even the best-laid plans can be foiled by teething, toddler meltdowns and the rogue horse that decides it doesn’t want to be caught. That is where the grace comes in. Do the best you can, and don’t let things out of your control stress you out.

Trick: With my son, I desensitized my horse to the stroller and then scheduled my ride time during his afternoon catnap. I would get my horse caught and saddled while he played in his sandbox, and then I would put him in his stroller and lead my horse alongside while I walked him up and down our driveway until he fell asleep. Then I would park him safely under the shade tree next to the arena. My horse already had his 15 to 20 minutes of warmup at the walk and was ready to go to work when my seat hit the saddle. I would ride for 20 minutes, and then when Trigg woke up, my cool-out would consist of another stroller walk.

My twin girls don’t like to sleep in the stroller, but they also take one longer nap and don’t catnap. With them, I take them outside with me to catch and saddle my horse, and then I leave my horse tied while I come inside and put them down for their nap. That gives me an extra 20 minutes of ride time. I take my phone with me and check in on them frequently on the monitor to make sure they are safe and asleep. My husband, Scott, works during the day, so I often ride alone. As an extra safety precaution, I let my sister know when I get on my horse, how long I plan to ride and when I get off. She sets a timer to make sure she has heard from me within the timeframe I gave her.

Gadgets: Baby monitors often have distance restrictions and/or require Wi-Fi connection, so I use a security camera (mine is Swann brand). The camera is in the girls’ room, and I can access the video from an app on my phone, no matter where I am. I keep my phone in a saddle bag and take it with me when I ride. I also have a Wonderfold wagon, which is basically a playpen on wheels. I can not only put the girls in there, but I can also stack buckets, bridles, helmets, etc. and get everything I need wherever I am going in one trip. It is a push-style wagon, which I like, so that the horse I am leading is next to me, rather than a pull-style wagon, where the horse would be next to the kids.

Confession: Before I became a mom, I was pretty fearless. I had no qualms about putting the first 30 days on a 2-year-old or running a barrel horse that had bucked me off (twice) before. Now, my first priority is always my kids and, with that, I am constantly worrying about what would happen to them if something happened to me. I know accidents can happen on any horse, but for now to give myself some peace of mind, I only ride horses I know and trust. I also started wearing a helmet for the first time in my life. I bought the new Apple watch, which detects if you have a hard fall and calls 9-1-1 if you don’t respond that you are safe. Most of all, I remind myself that God gave me this fierce passion for horses for a reason and, by chasing after my passions, I am creating an example for my children to follow.

Jodi Oleen

Tip: If you build it, the riding time will come. And by “it,” I mean your team. Look for the helpers. Look for people who can help you watch the kids, ride your horse, board your horse, groom your horse, etc. I still struggle with this one, but don’t be ashamed of needing help at this point in your life. When you are juggling kiddos, careers, family stuff, horses, dogs and more, you will need help. Reach out to the local trainer who may be able to help keep your horse in shape.

I’m forever grateful for Marcelo Guzman and his wife, Amparo, for the time and care they invest into my current reiner, Xtradrinkforthedoc, aka “Scotch.”

Take time to see if your friends’ kids want to learn how to ride or enjoy spending time around horses. Kids can be fierce helpers in the barn. If they are also about your kid’s age, it’s a great reason to spend the day with your kiddos and their friends enjoying horse time together. The bonus will be if their moms love horses, too. You may just get a riding partner, a helper at the shows and someone who doesn’t mind watching kiddos in trade for riding time. 

Trick: I have a very hectic travel and work schedule. When I get home, I have four kids, two dogs, a horse, a pony, a cat and a donkey to care for, on top of things like laundry, house cleaning and home upkeep. Like any business owner and career-minded individual knows, making time for fun things like riding isn’t easy. I’ve noticed that staying engaged in my horses keeps my mind fresh and reinvigorated. Horse time opens my mind and helps me reset.

I do two things to make sure I keep horse time in my schedule. First, I block out two to three hours one day every week to go out to Marcelo’s barn and ride Scotch. It’s not a lot, but it is what I can manage right now, and that is enough to keep me motivated to become a better rider. Second, I like to keep a horse or two at the house. Scotch stays at the trainer’s, but keeping at least one horse at my house really helps me get out and have a little horse time every day. It’s amazing what a few minutes of brushing, cleaning stalls and just scratching on your horses can do for your soul. 

Gadgets: I live and die by my Wi-Fi security camera for quick trips to feed while my smallest kiddo sleeps or naps. My suggestion for the other stuff, ditch it. Get yourself a good wagon or Pack ’n Play (a portable play yard), a stroller with rubber wheels (not plastic) for a smoother ride on rocks and bumpy roads, throw some toys in them and go. Oh, and pack extra wipes. You never know when you will need them!

Confession: Horse shows used to be very intense for me. There seemed to be a ton of pressure, and it got to where it wasn’t even fun anymore. After taking a 20-year break, I got back into riding and showing. This time around, I have been intentional about enjoying every second. My first show back in years was a huge mess performance-wise, but I had a blast. Why? Because I measured things in moments and not ribbons or jackpots won. For my first show, I had Marcelo, Amparo, three kids and a good mom friend helping me – it takes a village! I relished every laugh, every circle around the arena and every new and old friend I met. It was a complete perspective change because I now realize how lucky I am to have the time, resources and good health to be at the show. My horse’s performance was just a byproduct of the day and something to improve over time.

Melanie Rice

Tip: There are three ways I do this:

Start planning early. Think about where the event is and who can watch your children while you compete. My husband and I rope together, so finding someone in advance to help us with our son is critical. Fortunately, my family attends a lot of the same events we do, so having “Nana” there to help is a life saver. If we don’t have family at the event, we have to do a little more prep work to make things run smoothly.

We started taking our son with us to ropings as early as we could so he was comfortable sleeping in the truck under the glow of trailer lights, or in a stroller with the noise of the announcer, chute, barrier, etc. going on around him.

I had a “barn/trailer/arena” version of my essential baby items – Pack ’n Play, stroller and toys – so I did not have to remember to haul those items from the house or spend time cleaning them up before bringing them back into the house.

Trick: Accept hand-me-downs for your outdoor toys and gadgets. When Harley was really little, we had a Pack ’n Play, stroller, bouncy seat, jumper and toys we left in the barn. Since they were given to us, I didn’t care if they were the color I liked or if they had a few stains on them. Then when they got dirty, I just hosed them down. I also liked putting a crib sheet over the top of his Pack ’n Play to keep the bugs out and give him some shade. He still got plenty of air through the mesh sides, and the sheet over the top kept him more protected from the elements. Now that Harley is older, we have a laundry basket full of barn/arena toys with small feed buckets inside that our son can pack up and take with him (or sometimes it is the full basket), and when they get dirty, I just hose them down.

Gadgets: We purchased a long-range video baby monitor that allowed me to be in the barn while Harley was sleeping in the house, which was great when the weather was too hot or cold. We purchased a collapsible soft-sided garden cart, which was a great wagon and, when he was small, it contained him or gave him a place to sleep.

Freezable cooler bags were also one of my favorites. I liked the kind that have the freezer packs built into the side of the coolers so I could keep his bottles, food and drinks clean and cold, no matter where we were. Harley also has a pop-up camp-style high chair, which is so convenient for meals on the go.

Confession: I’ve ridden horses since I was a very small child, and very little has bothered me. I never shied away from a horse that needed a little more riding to keep from being fresh. But that all changed in 2018, when I was involved in a freak accident at a roping. 

My horse stumbled hard, as I was pulling my slack, and I ended up in a pile on the arena floor. I crushed my C7 vertebrae and was rushed to a major hospital to repair the break, without knowing if I would be able to walk again after the procedure. Harley was just 18 months old at the time.

Thanks to the many prayers of the horse and agriculture communities, I ended up having no adverse effects from the accident. I was even back on a horse just a few short months after my neck brace came off. But my perspective on life had changed drastically. Being a wife and a mother was my top priority before the accident, but now I know just how important those two titles are to me. I am not sure anything could ever keep me from horses because I am too passionate about them, but I am definitely more cautious today than I was pre-motherhood.